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Poem part two (forgot to put poem part one on Oneself)

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Author Topic: Poem part two (forgot to put poem part one on Oneself)  (Read 94 times)
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« on: June 12, 2013, 09:04:48 pm Central Daylight Time »

 Who am I for that thought always comes to mind
 What am I for that always comes across whenever i am looking myself
 Where was i born for that always comes whenever Im not sure if i was a person
 Why am I here for that always come across whenever there is  midst of madness.
 

 Second Part of the poem short isn't it couldn't go further because of the trigger that i just gave myself in my first poem and im might make part three don't know hmmmmm fickled mind always in my mind XD
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« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2013, 01:44:31 pm Central Daylight Time »

hmm... you should edit it and add those little words into your sentences that you left out for more coherency.
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« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2013, 03:51:50 pm Central Daylight Time »

What do you mean?
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« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2013, 07:29:34 pm Central Daylight Time »

Who am I, for that thought always comes to mind
 What am I, for that always comes across whenever i am looking at myself
 Where was i born, for that always comes whenever I'm not sure if i am a person
 Why am I here, for that always come across whenever there is midst of madness.

Corrections in red and those commas could be question marks as those are questions and then starts a new sentence after. that last part which is underlined has a word missing or words. It just doesn't make sense.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2013, 07:31:03 pm Central Daylight Time by ArkticDark » Report Spam   Logged

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