The Idiots Guide To Being A Good Roommate

[Fever]

This guide is written by yours truly, as a saving grave to the world filled with terrible roommates. Maybe you live with horrible roommates and you don't know how to handle it. Perhaps, you are a bad roommate yourself and you just don't know it yet. Well, this guide will help you know just THAT.

I've had plenty of experience living with people that are friends, not friends, and extended family.

WARNING: This guide features strong language such a ****, ****, goddamn, ass, skank ****, ****, and **** licker.


The key to being a good roommate only requires three things:

1) Consideration
2) Logic
3) Respect

Selecting A Good Roommate

There's a lot that can go wrong with your living situation so think wisely. Roommates are simply chosen because the cost of rent and bills can be divided between all household members. But don't JUST think about the money.

It's wise to sit down with the person(s) before sealing the deal with the living arrangement. If you don't know them well, ask vital questions about their background and future goals. What you see is what you get. And if not, you'll get less.

If you know your potential roommate, believe me, you don't. You don't truly know someone until you have lived with them. So it's very important to be through. It's risky to room with friends because friendships can be destroyed by just living together. Be warned.

My Stuff, Your Stuff


You gotta make it ****ing clear on what you roommate can touch/use. Of course, you will be sharing SOME stuff but how much you share is up to guys. Don't let him be a **** and borrow your clothes and ****. Personally, I hate when someone takes my **** without at least asking first. Just because it is there doesn't mean it is community property. Tell them to **** off if they do.  It's all about RESPECT.

The Kitchen

Oh my ****ing god. Everybody needs the goddamn kitchen. You go there several times a day so don't be a ****ing selfish chode about it. See those dishes in the sink? Yeah? Do them. Oh that ****ing fork isn't yours? Lord help us because we can't decide who can wash the ****ing fork. Let's all evade that fork too so I don't have to clean it! In fact, because there is a lone fork in the sink, I now feel obligated to leave my own dishes in the sink now. NO. DON'T! DON'T! DON'T BE THAT ****LICKER!

Oh yeah, food. Pleaaaaaaaaase don't drink the last of my ****. Don't eat the rest of my ****ing food. Like why would you do that, bro? Where's the CONSIDERATION? If you don't know, ASK. If I get you food or make you food, say thank you at least.

The Bedroom

Typically, this room is off limits for obvious reason. Lock or not, you knock if the door is closed and close the ****ing door on the way you. How messy your room is is on you. As long as if affects no one else or damages the room. The bedroom is important. You change in there, you jack it in there, and if you are lucky, you might have a girl in there that's not your mom. So if you do, GOOD GOD BE DISCREET. I don't need to hear what ever skank **** chick you brought over.

The Bathroom

Assuming you have just one bathroom, it's critical that it remains clean and available as often as possible. Don't be that **** that ****es all over the goddamn toilet seat and leaves it. Don't be that **** that doesn't warn you before taking a long shower. And don't be that **** that leaves his pubes everywhere to see. If you make a mess, just don't clean it up. Don't need to see **** stains and toothpaste remains everywhere. All you have to do is use LOGIC.



Being a roommate is hard and there are a lot of variables. But basically, if you're and a selfish and inconsiderate ****, then you'll be fine. When you have problems with your mate, let them know. Don't hold that **** inside. Be a good guy. Be a good roommate. 

[ArkticDark]

lmao! Good read Tye. I smiled all the way through.

This needs some editing for typos and what not. You want me to do it?

[Dragon in the Shadows]

lmao! Good read Tye. I smiled all the way through.

This needs some editing for typos and what not. You want me to do it?

Why would he want more errors and typos?

[Fever]

lmao! Good read Tye. I smiled all the way through.

This needs some editing for typos and what not. You want me to do it?

Thank you. I was in a hurry writing it and it was kind of a rant so idk. I'll go through it and edit it later.

Why would he want more errors and typos?

LOL

[ArkticDark]

  hahaha!

[Fever]

I'll probably edit it after I get back.